It has been a very sad week for all those parents who have lost children. Death by illness, car accident or suicide leaves parents and friends feeling devastated and helpless. This is particularly so when death is by suicide. Those left behind wondering what they could have done to prevent it. In New Zealand we have one of the highest youth suicide rates in the world. One of the young Olympic athletes talked about the pressure he felt on him to win. Expectations can be a two-edge sword. It can be good to have high expectations for our children or ourselves – we want what is best for them and for ourselves. As a nation we have high expectations of those who represent us in the various sporting fields. But at what point do “high expectations” become “unreasonable expectations”? – or even unreasonable demands? The pressure on young people to succeed academically is there too – often in subtle ways. And sometimes our expectations of others and what they can do leaves them with a sense of failure when they don’t match up to what we expect from them. How can we offer encouragement and support to others to do their best without making unreasonable demands on them. Maybe we need to recognise that these demands are about us and OUR expectations and not about what the other persons needs or even wants. I know it’s easier to ask the questions than supply the answers – especially when each situation may need a different solution.
You may want to think about what kind of expectations you have about those close to you, or your friends or neighbours or your colleagues. You may also want to consider what kind of support and encouragement you offer them.
All this was going through my mind as I was thinking about Sunday’s Gathering. The “wanderings” in my mind took me to the calling of the disciples. What kind of expectations did Jesus have of them? What did they expect of him? And what happened to the expectations that Zebedee had of his two sons when they took off after the man from Galilee and left him to carry on his business without them? We will do a bit more thinking about that on Sunday. And there is a story as well!
Shalom
Jim
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